E61: VC Rewind: The Power of Walking Away for Personal Growth

Discover the signals to spot when it's time to bid farewell to a venture that's outstayed its welcome. Embracing the wisdom of Shae Bynes' "Grace Over Grind," we navigate the treacherous waters of distinguishing between determination and detrimental perseverance. This episode peels back the layers on why enduring struggle can be a trauma response and why it's critical to prioritize our own needs rather than adhering to relentless societal expectations. Expect a frank discussion on the interplay of ego, pride, and the necessity to work smart, not just hard—plus, the clear indicators that point to when it's time for a strategic pivot or a full retreat.

We then weave through the intricate relationship between personal success, meaningful connections, and the courage to let go. This isn't just about financial gain—it's about crafting a life rich with experiences and a balanced existence. Join me as we delve into the importance of surrounding ourselves with those who lift us up, and we acknowledge the bravery required to step away from toxic relationships. I'll also offer a glimpse into my coaching philosophy, where I aim to guide you towards financial freedom and self-actualization, all while cultivating a space for mutual empowerment. So, come along for an enlightening journey that redefines success on our own terms, and leaves you with a heartening reminder to stay sweet until our paths cross again.

Welcome to The Positive Voice, a feel-good podcast designed to inspire and uplift through heartfelt conversations and the power of positivity! Hosted by transformational life coach and hope dealer, Kimberly Houston, where we delve into personal growth, wellness, and the beauty of overcoming life's challenges.

Join our creative and supportive community as we laugh, learn, and grow together on this life-changing journey. Subscribe to The Positive Voice and let's spread the joy, one conversation at a time!

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Chapters

• 0:41 When to Quit
• 9:15 Success, Relationships, and Letting Go
• 18:07 Coaching for Achieving Financial Freedom

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:42

Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of the visionary Catalan's podcast. It's been a minute since I've been able to record and that's because I have launched my first group coaching program. That is off to such an incredible start and I cannot wait to launch in at the end of August, beginning of September for cohort number two. I'll definitely leave some links down in the comments so that you guys can check out what I've got going on. But anyway, I'm super thrilled and excited to be on vacation, to be kind of just hanging out today, and I thought I've been thinking about a lot of things. Well, let's go ahead and do a podcast episode, and so today I want to focus on knowing when the time is right to quit.

Speaker 1: 1:35

So we're in a society that conditions us to not give up and to be resourceful and to be resilient and to keep going and to fight through it, and our society really does not applaud you when you say this no longer serves me or I can't trust myself to complete this task. That's really when our society kind of turns its back on people, and the thing that I know and understand about people and the life is that the strong friend superwoman syndrome yeah, that's a trauma response. And it's not cute. It's not. I lived it for many, many years. Struggle love is not cute. Live that for many years, just because the generations before us did not have a choice. Please hear me clearly. The generations before us did not have the same opportunities that we have now. We don't have to stay number one where we're not wanted and number two where we don't want to be. So how does this work for us in business, as entrepreneurs? So there's this thing called your ego and your pride that will get in the way of your progress.

Speaker 1: 3:12

When you are doing the same thing month after month, year after year, you do your vision boards, you do your vision casting and you say you know this year is going to be different, this year's gonna be my breakout year, this is the year that I'm going to make six figures. And then, at the end of the year, you find yourself, if not in the exact same position, but maybe in a worse position. Why do you continue to do the same thing over and over and it's bearing no fruit? Why would you continue to plant the same seed over and over again when the soil is not cultivating it in order to grow what it is you're expecting. I don't know farmers who would continue to do this right. So if you need to see this visually, how much sense is it going to make for a farmer? How much sense is it going to plant something in soil that cannot support what it's trying to plant? Just think about that for a second, because a lot of you are carrying seeds that cannot be planted in the soil you're trying to plant it in. You're trying to plant a seed into a pot that needs to be planted into a field. You're trying to plant a seed that belongs in a field, in a pot, and in a pot in a field. Y'all.

Speaker 1: 4:42

Some of the stuff that you're focusing on is not work, all the time and effort that you're giving it, and some of the things that you need to be focusing on, you're not giving it the time and energy you need to be giving it. So what do we do with that? How do you know when you've reached the point where you should stop? Number one I, maybe three years ago, encountered Shea Binds, who wrote the book Grace Overgrind. If you don't have it, I highly suggest it.

Speaker 1: 5:20

This was my first introduction to understanding you don't have to work hard in order to be prosperous. If there is no grace, if there is no rest, if there is no downtime, you are grinding, you are hustling for your next move, and you don't have to do that. I tell my coaching group all the time making money is not hard. Making money is not hard. It is a myth that we must work hard in order to be successful. That is not true. You need to work smart, but you don't have to work hard. And so, when there is no grace, when there is no opportunity for rest, when you notice, week after week, month after month, you're dealing with the same issues, baby, it's time to let it go. It's time to pivot. It's time to put your ego aside and say I need to do something else.

Speaker 1: 6:28

Another way that you know you're bearing no fruit, like nothing is happening for you. You're not making more money, but you're working harder. You're not making more money, but you're working more hours. You're not making more money, but you're turning down invitations from your friends and your family and you're missing out on activities with your children and your loved ones. All of those are signs that you might want to let this go.

Speaker 1: 6:57

And then, lastly, the reason you won't stop is because of fear. This is a big one for a lot of people and it's fear of failure and fear of success, so let's deal with them individually. The fear of failure comes in when your ego is running your life. You don't want the people who told you it wasn't going to work to be able to say I told you it wasn't going to work. Your ego is going to be bruised. You will be uncomfortable in your body when you make the decision to finally throw in the towel. I would rather be uncomfortable in my body than my bank account. Staying on the negative, being afraid of what people have to say, is not a reason to stay in a business that is no longer serving you. You are wasting your life and your time.

Speaker 1: 8:10

If you've listened to my podcast previously, I tell you all the time the people that talked about me when I made a pivot. The people who told me I wasn't a real photographer. The people who told me I knew you weren't gonna make it in your marriage. The people who told me all these things, who had these opinions we can even take it back 20 years. The people who told me I wasn't going to be a good mother because I was young. The people who told me my child would never be anything because his parents were in their 20s. It's all a lie, every last single bit of it. How do I know? Because that same child they told me would never be anything was the youngest TEDx Broadway speaker to date. How do I know? Because I have had multiple businesses and the business that people are like what are you doing? This is never gonna work. It has made me the most money. The books that I said I wanted to write and people were like no, that's stupid, they are selling on Amazon, y'all.

Speaker 1: 9:16

You cannot let the opinions of other people dictate how you move in life. That's just not going to yield good fruit. So allow your fear of failure to fall by the wayside. It's okay if you are uncomfortable in your body for a short amount of time. The quicker you do it, the faster you can begin planting where you need to. And then, on the other side of fear of failure, it's fear of success. There are people who know that they have million dollar ideas in their head and they are afraid of the same people.

Speaker 1: 9:58

Y'all people are gonna talk. Even if you become a millionaire, all the ones that says you wouldn't will be the first ones asking you can I borrow $20? Can I get $100? I know you got it. I know you got to play your business, your little business, out here booming, the people who do the passive, aggressive things to you. How's that little business going? How's that little relationship going? Y'all still working on that little dream of yours. Nothing that I do is little, ever. Everything that I do is big. It's big energy over here, like that's just how I operate, and you have to understand.

Speaker 1: 10:35

People gonna people, people gonna talk. They gonna do what they do best. They gonna be messy, they gonna cause havoc in your life because they want you to stay on their level. If you rise above them, then they lose out on a friendship. Can I release you right quick? Can I help you out? I'm gonna give you permission to go ahead and tell these people to kick rocks. I don't care if they related to you or not. If you know me on a personal level, you know I do not rock what anybody that does not rock with me and my children and the way that I expect you to rock with us. I do not care if you are blood related to me or not. That's not what we do here. I absolutely believe in Chelsen family. I absolutely believe in having business. Friends who iron sharpens iron. We go against one another. Like yo, you had an incredible launch last month. I'm getting ready to do that and I'm gonna see if I can hit the same target number that you did.

Speaker 1: 11:36

My friends and I push each other in business. We do not tear each other down. We manifest for one another. We stand in alignment with one another. When one of us moves into low belief, the other one will muster up enough belief to cover the both of us together until we can pull each other out of our low belief states. My friends understand what friendship means, what that looks like, and I am the better for it.

Speaker 1: 12:09

When you are successful, everybody can't go to the next level with you, and sometimes that includes your spouse. Sometimes that includes the people you share a bed with, and you have to be okay with that. You just do. It's nothing against them. This is not a moment of opportunities to be like oh yeah, you're holding me back. If I'm honest, did I know that I would become this successful once I was no longer married? I did not. It wasn't the plan, but I am far more successful now than I ever would have been inside of my marriage because it wasn't the proper place to plant the seeds that I was carrying, and you have to understand that about yourself.

Speaker 1: 13:07

People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and when that season changes, be okay with letting it go. Understand that if your big dream, the desire of your heart, is to live a particular lifestyle that can only be supported by an abundance of money, then that means you need to have the abundance of money. You need to have the assets that can afford to carry you to that season. Nothing about that is selfish, nothing about that is wrong, nothing about that is ungodly for the religious people. I'm not sure where the poverty mindset came in and why we decided to accept that in the church, but y'all, I've never met a broke preacher Ever. It just doesn't make sense to me. The Bible talks about prosperity all the time and no, this is not a religious podcast and we're not going there. But what I want you to understand is that not everything that comes out of a man's mouth is truth. Not everything that you read in a book is truth. It is an interpretation by one person that has been interpreted by multiple other people.

Speaker 1: 14:31

So you have to define what is success for me. What does that look like for me? Success for me does not equate to a dollar amount. It equates to experiences. It equates to my children being able to do things without me having to break my back in order to pay for it. It equates to me being able to pay all of my bills on time and not have overdrive fees. It equates to me being able to take a week off and still make money while I'm gone. That is what success looks like for me in this season. It's not, oh, I need to make 10 or 15,000 this month. The money will come. I am manifesting a particular lifestyle and I would encourage you to also do the same thing.

Speaker 1: 15:22

If you get nothing else from this particular podcast episode, I really hope that you can take away the idea that you can put in your heart. You can write it on a sticky note and put it on the wall. But grace over grind is the way to go. I am not grinding, I am not hustling. Those are not words that are in my vocabulary anymore, and they have not been for several years. I work in grace, I rest in grace. I understand that my self-worth is not tied up in the dollar amount of the products that I am giving or that I'm selling to other people. I understand I can never charge my worth, because my worth cannot be predicated upon something that I'm selling to another person. I understand that my life, the experiences that I can provide for myself and for my family, that is what success is for me, and so I just encourage you to really stop and think about it. Am I doing something that's not yielding any fruit or that is destroying my body, that is taking me away from making memories and giving my family the experiences that I want us to have? If that's the case, that's your sign that you need to let it go.

Speaker 1: 16:47

Look at your business the same way you would look at a bad relationship. If you were in a relationship with someone and week after week, day after day, month after month, they kept doing the same thing over and over again. After you told them that these things are not helping us, these things are hurting me, these things are not fruitful for our family, would you stay in that relationship? Probably not. So why do you continue to work inside of a business that treats you the exact same way? That's just a thought I want to leave you with today. If you are in that place, I just want to let you know it is perfectly okay to pivot. It really really is. It's totally okay for you to pivot If you don't know how to do that, if you don't know what to do.

Speaker 1: 17:40

Two weeks ago, I officially launched my coaching business. You can absolutely connect with me. You can schedule a 30-minute session or an hour-long session if you would like, and we can discuss whatever it is that you would like to do with your business, what your dreams are. We can develop a roadmap that will help you get there. But I really, really, really have a heart for people who are trying to change and do better in their life, because I know that you can.

Speaker 1: 18:07

I know that you can, which is the only reason why I'm offering these coaching services now, but I want you to fully understand you don't have to work hard to make money. You can have the life that you desire. You just have to make the choice that that is what you want to do. As always, I thank you for allowing me to speak to you on the Visionary Catalyst podcast. I definitely hope that you will connect with me on social media. You can find me on social media every platform, at Chef Kimihoo and also at the Visionary Catalyst on Instagram and TikTok. Until next time, stay sweet, my loves.