The Positive Voice

E67: Overcoming Entrepreneurial Fear and Cultivating Supportive Relationships for Success

April 07, 2024 • Coach Chef Kimberly Houston • Episode 67

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Are you ready to transform your entrepreneurial journey with a dash of fearlessness and a sprinkle of sage wisdom? Join me, Coach Chef Kim, as we serve up a hearty conversation on overcoming the paralyzing grip of fear and the toxic relationships that can drain your business dreams dry. We'll stir in some strategies to turn that fear into a driving force of excitement and identify the genuine supporters who will season your path to success. You'll learn how to navigate the landscape of entrepreneurship without reinventing the wheel, and the power of moving in silence—sometimes a recipe born from past traumas can unexpectedly become a secret ingredient in your business strategy. Get ready to trust your gut and those who stand by it with a cheer, as we carve out the steps to recognize and cultivate the support that fuels your professional growth.

As your coach, I promise that by the end of our session, you'll have the practical tools to set deadlines that stick, turning your five-year plan from a mirage into a milestone. I'll share personal stories of growing an entrepreneurial spirit within one's divine purpose, emphasizing that the pursuit of abundance is about more than just chasing dollars—it's about chasing dreams. We'll also delve into the value of self-investment, learning to embrace opportunities that knock when least expected. Remember, a dream envisioned is a dream set on the path to reality, and like any Olympian chasing gold, you won't want to miss the coaching that can take you to the top. So, entrepreneurs, are you ready to leap into your potential with the next cohort of the Emergence Program? Let's make that jump together.

Welcome to The Positive Voice, a feel-good podcast designed to inspire and uplift through heartfelt conversations and the power of positivity! Hosted by transformational life coach and hope dealer, Kimberly Houston, where we delve into personal growth, wellness, and the beauty of overcoming life's challenges.


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Speaker 1:

Hey friends, welcome to another episode of the Positive Voice Podcast. I am your host, coach Chef Kim, and I have a quick question for you. When was the last time you had an idea and you thought, hmm, that might be fun, and then you don't execute? That's what we're going to talk about today the difference between the people who find themselves in successful business ventures and those who do not. Would you like to know a secret? The only thing that's holding people back is their fear. Now, whether that is fear of success or fear of failure, that remains to be seen, but fear is the one thing that keeps entrepreneurs from succeeding, and so I want to help you work your way through this, if this resonates with you. So listen, friends. As I asked you in the last episode, if you love this content and you know other people who need to hear it, please share this podcast with your friends. Share it with your girlfriends, your boyfriends, your cousins, your aunties, your mama it doesn't really matter to me. Share it with the people who need to hear it, because I show up week after week for you. So let's really dig into this.

Speaker 1:

One of the things that we need to understand about fear is that we are quite simply apprehensive about the things that are unknown, right, but I want you to think about it this way when you are standing in line at an amusement park, you will feel butterflies in your stomach. When you are getting on a roller coaster for the first time, there is nervousness, but there's also excitement. This is also fear. The reason for that is simply because fear and excitement light up the same places of your brain. So if we already know that fear and excitement manifest itself at the same way inside of your body, you can make a conscious choice to say oh, I'm excited about whatever this is. If you know that, historically, there are people in your life whenever you tell them about an idea that you've had, they try and snuff it out of you. They immediately want to stop you. They don't understand why you think like this. Can I tell you something? And I really, really wish this was something that I had taken to heart much sooner, much sooner.

Speaker 1:

And it is simply this just because they're in your tribe doesn't mean they're your people. Just because they're in your tribe doesn't mean they're your people. So what do I mean by that? We surround ourselves with people at various stages of your life. When we're younger, we have friends out of proximity, right? So your friends when you're younger are the people in your neighborhood, the next door neighbor, the kids that you're in your classes with, the people who ride your bus, the kids in your Sunday school class, the people who you do sports with. You know things of the sort, right so we have our friends out of proximity. When we are younger, as we begin to develop and we become adults even, you know, maybe high school college you may have friends who are in your classes, people who are in your major, people who you have to do group projects with.

Speaker 1:

When you become an adult and things begin to shift and change and there's no longer a rule book about who you have to be friends with and who has to be a part of your circle and who doesn't, here's something I need you to understand Just because people started on a journey with you, it does not mean that it is their purpose, nor yours, to finish the race together. Now, am I telling you to cut people off left and right? Absolutely not. I would never tell you that. What I am going to tell you is to be aware of those who are silent when you are winning. I want you to be aware of the people who have absolutely nothing to say when you are in seasons of prosperity, seasons of growth, seasons of transition, because I think this is something that we miss when you. You know, misery loves company, right? So when you need to call somebody and kiki with them and you want to bitch and moan about things, you ever notice how some people are always at the ready. There are some people in your life who are always at the ready to hear whatever negative thing is happening in your life. Think about the people who thrive off of hearing you say how tough it is to be an entrepreneur, how horrible this new boyfriend is, how you wish that you could just find somebody that would help you do X, y and Z.

Speaker 1:

There are people who show up for your struggle. There are people who show up in your struggle and there is a difference. The people who show up for your struggle are spectators. These are people who just want to be around enough to have all the quote unquote teeth. They want to be able to say that they were here when you were down bad. But the people who show up in your struggle are the ones who want to help you out of it. They are the ones who are going to encourage you when you feel less than, and they are still the ones who cheer the loudest for you when you're winning. Not only are they your biggest cheerleader, but they're also your biggest fan, and I think that people have missed the mark in understanding that, in the seasons of life that we go through, there are times when you need to make very strategic and calculated decisions on what information you share.

Speaker 1:

One of my most viral posts is talking about silence as a trauma response. Moving in silence is a trauma response because it is. It's difficult for me to believe that it's easier for you to suffer in silence and not ask for help and try and figure everything out on your own when there are systems already created to help you move faster. To me, it seems silly to not use your resources when trying to build a business when you could quite simply follow the blueprint If it ain't broke, what are you trying to fix and why are you trying to reinvent the wheel? Am I saying go copy someone else's business? No, I am not. What I am saying is that you need to trust yourself enough that you have people in your corner that you can trust enough with the weight of the responsibility of the things that you were trying to bring to life as an entrepreneur. If the people in your circle, the people who you call your friends, the people in your clique, if they are not supporting you at all times, I want you to reevaluate if you have a circle of friends or if you are inside of a cage. Have you sacrificed true friendships, true support systems, meaningful relationships, simply for trying to belong? Are you chasing belonging instead of cultivating relationships? Now, cck, what does that mean? I'm glad you asked let's go to school.

Speaker 1:

Who seek external validation to the point that they are incapable of making decisions for themselves. When you are unable to make a decision for yourself and you are always looking for somebody else to tell you good job, somebody else to tell you keep going, somebody else to pat you on your back. You have no self-motivation. The only motivation you have to complete a task is external. When you deal with these people, what you will begin to notice is that their desire to be praised, their desire to fit in, their desire to belong, will 100% outweigh their own ability to show up in the ways that they need to, just because I tell you that you did a good job doesn't mean I like you. Just because you sacrifice a day with your family in order to help me complete a task doesn't mean I like you.

Speaker 1:

Now, I'm not saying that for me a CCK. It does not mean that If you are taking time away from your family, I 100% love you, appreciate you and that's how we roll. But what I'm trying to get you to understand is that everybody doesn't, everybody doesn't. If you are a person who leans into people pleasing because you think people will like you, I want you to stop and take inventory. Do people like you, or do people like the fact that you sacrifice yourself in order to advance them?

Speaker 1:

If you are an entrepreneur and you spend your time more of your time advancing the work of another person than you do investing in yourself, can I tell you something, and this one might be a little hard? So if I step on your toes when I say this, just say ouch. Ok. If you're the entrepreneur who needs to take on some consulting jobs or some freelance work so that you can pay a bill, but the freelance work is taking over more of your life than you working on your own business, you're not an entrepreneur, you're a glorified hobbyist, it's okay. If it hurts, just say ouch, because, listen, we're going to get real Y'all. We got to stop making excuses for why we can't show up in business in the way that we need to. Money is always going to be an issue, and here's the problem. If you never take the time to invest in yourself, why do you think other people would begin to financially invest in you? You don't think you're worthy of having your own time, so why would somebody else write you a check to help you out of the situation you're in? Food for thought. Just sit with it for a second.

Speaker 1:

If you've been doing freelance work for three, four, five years with the goal and a dream, your five-year plan is I'm going to be able to do this. I will no longer have client work. But it's a literally your five-year plan every year. You never gave it a date, you never gave it a deadline. I want you to look back and I want you to calculate how many years has that five-year plan been moving? Because the reality of it is that in 2020, your five-year plan was that you would no longer be doing client work for other people. You would have a successful six-figure business, seven-figure business. You would have employees of your own Baby. It's 2024, which means your five year plan. The deadline is next year. The deadline, the deadline.

Speaker 1:

If you set a goal in 2020 and it was your five year plan, the deadline for it is going to be in eight months. I just need you to sit with that, see. The problem is is that we set goals. I just need you to sit with that. See. The problem is is that we set goals, we create dreams, we do SWOT analysis, but we don't give it a deadline. You must put a deadline in place in order for you to make excuses as to why it can't get done. These are flaws in the realm of entrepreneurship. This extends beyond entrepreneurship, for sure, but just in the grand scheme of things, you've got to start giving yourself deadlines. You've got to start dating things. You've got to start calling things into existence and drawing the line in the sand.

Speaker 1:

As entrepreneurs, it is our responsibility to not only manage how we show up in business, but also how we show up for ourselves. It is not the job of your clients nor any other person to validate you when you are doing the work you were put on this earth to do. If you are constantly seeking validation from others. Number one there is some self-worth that needs to be done. Number two, I question are you working inside of your divine purpose or are you chasing money? Those who work inside of their purpose don't have to chase money, because when you work inside of your purpose, there is a level of abundance that will be unlocked that can also not be explained. When you work inside of your purpose, people will pay for you to go places. You will win trips, you will have scholarships to learn more things. People will literally send you checks in the mail to make sure you can advance your education, so that you can advance your career. How do I know? Because I'm a product of it. I have had the unique and distinct pleasure that, in the last 30 days, I've been on two trips I did not have to pay for, both of which have advanced me as an entrepreneur by leaps and bounds.

Speaker 1:

Who I was at the beginning of March of 2024 is not who I am now, and the reason for that is because there were other people, other women, who saw that there was something in me that needed to have a spark lit, and because they had the means to make it happen. They did, and I do not take that for granted. Whenever I am given an opportunity to show up for myself, particularly when I get to show up for myself at the expense of another woman, not only am I showing up for me, but I'm showing up for them. I'm showing up for their dream and their goals, so that I can show them. Thank you for investing in me and please know that I am not going to be dry ground. I am fertile soil. If you invest in me, please understand I'm going to take everything that you have poured into me and I'm going to create magic, because that is what I have promised myself and because I hold commitments to myself near and dear, probably more than I hold commitments to other people.

Speaker 1:

You have to understand that, as an entrepreneur, as someone who wants to change the world, it must first start there, with you. So if you are someone who needs permission, I would like to go ahead and give you permission right now, in this moment. I want to give you permission to follow your dreams, to follow the inspired moments, to take inspired action when you have random thoughts. If you're a dreamer, when you wake up in the middle of the night you're like whoa, I was dreaming, but you can remember every detail. You can still smell the dream. You saw yourself living in a completely different dimension, in a different timeline, and you're like, oh my god, how do I tap into that? I want to give you permission to allow yourself the opportunity to go deeper. Tap into your own intuition. Begin to trust yourself. Begin to trust that the thoughts and the dreams are not random. Begin to research and follow the curiosity.

Speaker 1:

If you saw yourself standing in a bakery and you could see the colors on the walls and you could see the wallpaper that was there, or the mural, you could see outside and you saw a street corner, you could see the other businesses in the area. You could see the people walking in and out of the door. Or you can see all these different things. Or if you want to be a choreographer and you saw yourself walking down the streets of New York wearing a particular outfit on a particular day, listening to your AirPods while you're listening to your favorite Beyonce song, if you can envision yourself doing these things, here's what I want to tell you. There's a reason you can see it. There's a reason you can see it. The reason you can see it is because you can have it, but the only way you're going to get it is if you make up your mind and you allow yourself to be curious and figure out ways to make it happen.

Speaker 1:

Whenever I think about coaching and I think about the privilege that I have in coaching entrepreneurs through transitions in their life and through leveling up in business, the thing that stands out to me most often is real simple when you think about it, but it's so heavy and it's so big in real life, and it's quite simply this there's not one Olympian that competes who doesn't have a coach. There's not one Olympian, there's not one star athlete, there isn't one who is able to perform at the height of their game without a coach. An abundance mindset allows you to understand that when you make an investment in yourself, the return on that investment is up to you. The return on that investment is not iffy. It's you. When you take a chance on somebody else, there's a 50-50 chance. They may or may not show up in the way they need to, but when you bet on yourself, you should be showing up 100% of the time.

Speaker 1:

When you are in entrepreneurship and you are trying to move from solopreneur, from glorified hobbyist, when you're trying to become the boss, when you're trying to map out your success and what is next for you, when you're trying to level up in business, when you're trying to do this by yourself, without the guidance of a coach who can look at your situation and just look at the data of it, not look at you, not look at your circumstances, not look at your background or where you came from. There's too many rags to riches stories. None of that matters. What we're looking at is your ability and capability to overcome your own limiting beliefs in order to show up for a future version of yourself that is highly dependent upon the choices and decisions you're making right now. Olympians have coaches. Abundance mindset says you need a coach. A lack mindset says I cannot afford to have one. My question to you is can you afford not to? And that's one of the things that you have to sit with when you think about the difference between those who execute and succeed and those who do not?

Speaker 1:

Right now, the doors to my 90 day emergence program are open. The level one program is open. We will get started around May 15th, where there will be one on one meetings with me so that I can get to know each person coming into the program. We will officially kick off on June 1st and we will go for 90 days. We will officially kick off on June 1st and we will go for 90 days. Once that first level is completed, there is now a level two that takes all of the work that we've done in level one on self and helps us to use it in the real world, creating real projects, changing the people in our neighborhood, developing a board of directors for ourselves, creating the community that we know that we need in order to be successful.

Speaker 1:

When you make the decision to invest in yourself, the return on that investment should be greater than any other one that you find yourself subjected to for the rest of your life. If you are ready to join us in the Emergence Program, we will look forward to having you this summer. Our third cohort of it will not release until October 1st, so you can either join us for the June 1st technically start date, or you can wait and join us for the June 1st technically start date, or you can wait and join us for the October 1st start. But please know that if Olympians have coaches when they are at the top of their game, I'm 100% positive that you as an entrepreneur sitting in the midst of transition, trying to figure out how to make things better. Having a coach is going to be the difference between you succeeding quicker and it taking you much longer to get there on your journey. Until next time, stay sweet, my loves, and I'll talk to you soon.

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