E108: The Importance of Setting Boundaries in Entrepreneurship

In this episode of the Kitchen Table Dreams podcast, Chef Kimberly Houston discusses the critical role of boundaries in achieving personal and professional dreams. 

She emphasizes that boundaries are essential for protecting one's time, energy, and creativity, and provides a structured approach to setting them. The conversation covers the importance of identifying non-negotiables, conducting calendar audits, and recognizing emotional triggers that lead to overcommitment. 

Kimberly also shares practical scripts for enforcing boundaries and encourages listeners to design their ideal work week. The episode concludes with a reminder that saying no is a powerful tool for self-care and vision alignment.

TIME/ENERGY AUDIT

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Boundaries and Dreams
• 4:56 The Recipe for Boundaries
• 11:35 Designing Your Ideal Week
• 17:31 Enforcing Your Boundaries

Transcript

Kimberly Houston (00:00.862)
Hello friends and welcome back to the kitchen table dreams podcast. I am your host chef Kimberly Houston and I want to drop this on y'all today the way it was dropped on me. If everything is a yes then your dream is getting the leftovers. Baby today we getting into it. So today we are going to talk about inspired action meeting authentic awareness.

Boundaries are the bridge between intention and execution. And if you've listened to the last couple of episodes, you understand that we are in the midst of a series that I called Recipe 4. And so today, we're going to talk about the recipe for boundaries. It's one of those things that my clients struggle with all the time and I know that they're not the only people struggling with boundaries. So let's dig into this.

Previously, we discussed the recipe for consistency as well as the recipe for belief in oneself. So if you haven't listened to those podcast episodes, definitely go back and give those to a listen to. But today, what I want to focus on is the idea that every time you say yes to something misaligned, you say no to your future self. And I want to fix that for you. So that is my hope and my goal that by the end of this episode,

we have created a roadmap that will allow you to identify where you are betraying yourself by not setting boundaries. So let's get into this. Having a lack of boundaries is a dream killer. Common signs that you don't have strong boundaries are you overbook yourself. You say yes.

from guilt or fear and you feel resentful about your calendar. So real talk, you weren't meant to be available for everyone all the time. That doesn't work as an entrepreneur. You are building something sacred and because of that, you need to be able to protect your energy, protect your time, protect your creativity. And I can tell you,

Kimberly Houston (02:20.702)
that during the 10 years that I owned my boutique bakery, I absolutely had no boundaries. I didn't have boundaries in my personal life or my professional life. I paid the cost for that. I thought it was a badge of honor to be overbooked. Booked and busy, booked and busy. I remember those Facebook posts on booked and busy. That's not a badge of honor.

That means you say yes to everything. When you say yes to everything, you say no to the things you actually want, right? So what does that look like when you're saying yes to everything? Yes, I'll do this order. Yes, I'll do this last minute order. Yes, I will allow the client's failure to plan to interrupt the things happening in my life. Yes, I will do this order for you and deliver it even though I promised my kids I would take them to the zoo this weekend. Yes, I will do this.

so that I can quote unquote pay this bill or do this next thing or to hustle hard, I'll do this thing but at what cost? That yes meant a no to something else. The no might not have been anything monetary. The no might have been spending time with your family, spending time with friends or doing absolutely nothing. Saying yes to something you didn't want to do just might simply have taken time away from you taking a nap.

or planting something in your garden or learning how to make sourdough bread or something as simple as reading a book or Netflix and chilling. When you said yes to that thing you didn't want to say yes to, you said no to something that you actually did want to do, right? And so we have to understand that boundaries are to protect us. They're not for other people. Now,

Let's talk about the actual recipe for your boundaries and hopefully this will help. If you've been listening to the last couple of episodes, you understand that I'm giving you the ingredients to success in a recipe format. So today is no different. The recipe for boundaries, here are your three ingredients. Number one, your non-negotiables. What absolutely must be protected? Is it rest? Is it creative time? Is it family? What is it? What are boundaries?

Kimberly Houston (04:39.02)
Boundaries for me in business are I do not do any type of coaching on Mondays ever at all. I don't want to talk to you on Monday because that is a day for me. Whether I take that as a day of rest or I take it as a day of restoration where I am going through my business and doing the things that I need to do for me. Those things are only happening on Mondays, which means I'm not talking to clients.

So what are your non-negotiables? I also don't do coaching on the weekend. I used to. I know that sounds crazy. When I first started coaching, because a lot of people who I was coaching with worked during the week, I offered Saturday coaching. Never again. Never again. My weekends belonged to me. So Saturday, Sunday, Monday, I'm never coaching people.

What are your boundaries? What are your non-negotiables? That's number one. Number two, do a calendar audit. What are you doing that no longer serves you? Are you showing up at places that no longer serve you? Are you a part of organizations that no longer serve you? Are you on email lists that no longer serve you and they're cluttering up your inbox which require you to read their emails or even just take the time to simply delete or unsubscribe when you could have just avoided it by not being a part of it, right?

I want you to do a calendar audit. Your calendar audit goes beyond just what's on your calendar. Are there other people attached to your calendar putting things on it causing overwhelm for you? Whatever it is, I need you to clean it up. Clean up your calendar, do a calendar audit. What are you doing that no longer serves you? Number three, emotional triggers. Let's talk about it. What is making you say yes when you don't want to?

Is it people pleasing tendencies? Are you the eldest daughter? Do you have difficulty understanding that you can put yourself first and everybody else doesn't have to come before you? Like, what does that look like for you? Really tap into what are the emotional triggers that make you say yes when you really, really want to say no. So in keeping with our recipe formats, let's talk about

Kimberly Houston (07:04.147)
times. For one hour a week, just one hour a week, that's it. Not even a day, one hour a week. That's all it's going to take to reclaim your time. Here's what I want you to do in that one hour per week. Cancel what is not aligned. Go through your bank account and look at things that are automatic payments and see if you actually still use it. See if it's something you actually still need to run your business.

See if it's something you still need to run your life. You move into different seasons of life. You might be paying for things. If you were paying for stuff with the thought that, I'm going get to it eventually. I'm going to use this particular thing eventually. If you haven't used it in the last 60 days, cancel it. Go cancel it. It's out of alignment. You're not going to jump back on it. I can promise you you're not. If you haven't used it in 60 days, you're not going to. Create.

default availability blocks. My Calendly is set up very specifically for certain things on certain days. If I am doing podcasts for work, I run not only this podcast, but I also do a podcast for my part-time job at the Retail Bakers of America Association. I don't have my Calendly open all the time. Those are specifically scheduled.

on certain days of the week. If I am interviewing a guest on this podcast, those are scheduled on very specific days of the week. Coaching people, I am not available to coach you Monday through Friday. I coach on very specific days of the week, typically on Wednesday and Friday are my top days for coaching.

Create defaults, availability blocks that this is when I do these things, therefore your schedule isn't going to be running rampant. It helps train other people that this is when I'm available. I'm not available to you 24-7, this is when I'm available. People will begin to respect your time. Then identify your biggest energy leaks. Baby, what are you doing that's wasting your time? What are you doing that's draining your energy? Have you done a time and energy audit lately?

Kimberly Houston (09:24.63)
If the answer to that is no, I want you to look down in the show notes and I'm going to link out to a YouTube video that I created a while ago about time and energy leaks. It is still relevant today and I want you to do one and you will see where you're putting your energy and you're not getting a return on it, right? So then let's talk about your serving suggestions. All right, here's

what I need you to actually take action on and go do. I want you to design your ideal week. What does your dream week actually look like? Do you work five days a week? Do you work four days a week? Do you work three days a week? When I was injured back at the end of 2020, moving into 2021 and I was in physical therapy where I had to regain strength in my hands. I had to learn how to write my name again.

you know, holding a pen just wasn't, I couldn't write my name for like six months. Like these just weren't things I was able to do anymore. And one of things that came with that was I was only allowed to work three days a week for four hours. I could work a total of 12 hours a week. And while that sounds crazy, I made more money working 12 hours a week than I did working 50 hours a week because I had to prioritize my life. I had to prioritize

the things that I was doing and raise my prices in order to be able to continue to live my life on this now reduced schedule that I had. What does your dream week actually look like? When do you want to be working and when don't you? Daydream it. Where does your CEO time live? As a CEO, what do you want to be doing? What do you want to be doing in your business? If you don't know, if you legit have no idea,

what you should be doing in your business based on the amount of money that you are bringing in. I am going to invite you to come and join me inside of the Teach Me How to Bake Kitchen Table Dreams Mastermind. Based on where you are financially, I can tell you without a doubt what you should be focused on as the CEO of your business. I can tell you what things you are doing that are not actually moving the needle in your business and that aren't going to get you there any further. So if you are someone who is

Kimberly Houston (11:50.55)
looking for community, you are looking for an opportunity to learn and grow as an entrepreneur, I want you to come check out the Kitchen Table Dreams Mastermind. And then the third question for you is, where do you rest, create, sell, and serve? Attempting to show up everywhere means you are just yelling at the masses. You need to be real specific on where you're showing up or where you're not.

going to show up. So what does this look like for you? Where do you rest? Where do you create? Where do you sell? Where do you serve? When I moved last year, one of the things that I was very, very adamant on was having an office. For the last 12 years prior to this new move, my office has been in my bedroom. And I was determined

that my bedroom would be for resting, that there would not be a computer in there, my laptop would never go in my bedroom. And we've been going strong with this for about eight months. I have an office and my laptop stays in it. It does not come upstairs to my room. My bed is not an office, right? Creating that boundary that my bed is for resting. It is not for working.

was something that I had to get used to because it's not something that I was used to. I was used to going to sleep with my laptop in the bed or right next to me on the dresser. Now it's not even in the same room with me anymore. Think about those things. As you set up your ideal work week, where are you resting? Where are you creating? Where are you selling? Where are you showing up? Who are you serving? Create your ideal week.

and create it like a recipe. I'm currently working on the newest version of the Teach Me How to Bake book for kids, volume two. And when you are creating something like this, when we're doing recipe development, you have to test it. You, as the creator, test it. And then you have other people test it and give you feedback on it for recipe development, because what you know might not be what they know. And so there may be some difficulties.

Kimberly Houston (14:10.734)
with doing that. And so you test it, they test it. Once you get their feedback, you tweak it and then you revise as needed. If that doesn't make sense to you, here's what I want you to think about. If I were to tell you to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or I was to tell you to tell me how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, do you think you can effectively tell me how to do that? If you say in order to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you should...

Put some peanut butter on the bread, put some jelly on the bread, put them together, boom, there you go. That's not how you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You didn't tell me how to get the bread, where to get the bread from. You didn't tell me what to use to get the peanut butter out of the jar. You didn't tell me what to use to get the jelly out of the jar. You didn't tell me if I should do that in a particular order. You didn't tell me what side of the bread the peanut butter and jelly should go on. You didn't tell me if they were going on two different slices of bread.

There are so many nuances to making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but in our brains, it's literally put some peanut butter and some jelly on a bread and put it together. But if I was explaining that to someone who's never done it before, there are more steps involved in this. As you're thinking about your ideal work week, I don't want you to begin lumping things together like create a newsletter.

and that's just one task. That's actually more than one task because if you create the newsletter, where's the content coming from? Are you doing a content audit in order to do the newsletter or are you creating something new every week? Do have to use ChatGPT to do this? Are you using Trello? Are you using some other service? It's going to help you keep these aligned and keep them in order. There are so many things that go into this and this is why we often find ourselves becoming quote unquote overwhelmed.

with all the things we have to do. And it's because in your brain, all you said was, I'm just having peanut butter and jelly on a bread, and now I'm having peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And that's not how you do it. There are so many steps that go into this. So as you are building out your ideal work week, think about every task that you're putting on there. And some of these tasks might require more time than you're giving them. So these are things I want you to keep in mind as you

Kimberly Houston (16:35.106)
Build out your week, test it, tweak it, and then revise it as needed. Now, what do you do when your boundaries are tested?

All right, I want to give you some script examples of what you can say if your boundaries are tested. All right, I'm really, really good at this. People ask me this all the time. First of all, no is a complete sentence, in my opinion. Now, while there are people who will tell you that no is not a complete sentence, I think it is. Here's how we deal with boundaries, That's not going to work for me, but here's what I can offer.

So one of the things I used to say as a business owner is that your failures to plan is not my emergency. And the reason I said that is because I did celebration cakes. You knew the celebration was coming. You waiting until 24 hours before to realize you need a cake is not my emergency. That's not an emergency for me. That's your problem because you knew your kid was turning five. You've known for five years, right? So no, your failure to plan is not my emergency.

But you can't tell your customers that. What you can say is, that's not going to work for me, but here's what I can offer. And I did that before, right? I want a three-tiered cake and I want it within 24 hours. That's not going to work for me. We are busy. That's not going to work. What I can offer you are two dozen cupcakes. That's what I can have available for you within 24 hours. You set the precedent for what you can and cannot do in a particular timeframe.

Another script example, I don't make same-day decisions. Let me get back to you. Now this one for people who have issues with if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. You all know that's my saying. For me, I can make a same-day decision. If it's not a hell yes, the answer is no. If you ask me to do something and I don't say yes immediately, the answer is no. If I tell you I need to think about it,

Kimberly Houston (18:43.054)
99 % of the time the answer is a no. If I tell you let me check my calendar, I am a person who really needs to check their calendar. And so if I say let me check my calendar, I mean it. I mean it. It means that this is a maybe for me. It means that this is a yes, but I need to make sure I can actually commit before I say yes. So if you aren't that person,

and it's a little difficult for you to be able to say that. Just say, I don't make same-day decisions. Let me get back to you. Now, if you are someone who is great with enforcing boundaries, you don't feel any type of way when you say things to people, here's one for you. I'm protecting my schedule right now. Let's revisit this later. People who want to pick your brain, people who want to jump on your calendar and not pay that fee, I'm protecting my schedule right now.

Let's revisit this later. If you have clients who you know are squirrels, right? It's very squirrel. They are jumping from thing to thing to thing. You know that if you start something with them in a month, they're not going to be doing it anymore. I'm protecting my schedule right now. Let's revisit this later. Check in with me in 30 days and let me know if you still want to do this. Great way to set boundaries. Boundaries are not walls.

They're filters. Boundaries are not walls. They're filters. and to affirm you in this, here's what I want you to know. Saying no is not a rejection. Saying no is not a rejection. It is a redirection back to your vision. And so as you are thinking about, the recipe for

boundaries and how do you set them and how do you protect yourself from others. You need to know your non-negotiables. You need to audit your time and align your week with the business that you're building. Your boundaries are a blueprint for the life you're creating. Know and understand that saying no to someone

Kimberly Houston (21:04.551)
you are saying yes to yourself. Again, as I mentioned before, if you need help enforcing boundaries, if you need help understanding what you should be doing as a CEO of your business at various levels, please come and join us in the Kitchen Table Dreams Mastermind. You can find out more about that at teachmehowtobake.com backslash mastermind.

If you know someone else who needs to listen to this podcast episode, please share it with them and let them know that this is a space for them. This is a place for creative and culinary entrepreneurs to learn, grow, and thrive and excel in their businesses. And if you are not connected with me and you are not receiving our emails, please make sure you sign up at kimberlyihuston.com backslash email until next time. Stay sweet friends.